You Should Have Come Over
by PigletandPooh
Summary: As much as he might have wanted things to go back to how they were, he could no more still time than un-do it. Returning to Hogwarts armed with the certainty that the mess he had created was entirely his own doing, Sirius Black had no idea how to make things better. It was unsurprising really, the way things unravelled.
1. Not Making a Scene

He wasn't imagining it. She _was_ smiling back at him. And not the slightly stretched, forced smile that she shot so frequently at idiots like Leatherby and Holling- the kind of smile that left no doubt in his head that she was wincing internally, but felt obligated to smile out of politeness. Nor was it the easy affiliated grin he had come to expect around Evans or MacDonald, or even James, and on rare occasions, himself. It was an altogether unfamiliar smile.

This one was slightly cautious, but nonetheless; it was sincere. Honest amusement sparkled in those hazel eyes he had come to read so well. And for the first time in months, they weren't fixed on him. Her attention was now thoroughly diverted by this newcomer; this new boy who drew smiles and giggles and small touches from Marlene as if it was as easy as breathing.

Which it wasn't. Sirius knew from experience.

Or maybe it was only difficult for him. There was a time when it wasn't so hard, but he supposed he had no one to blame but himself for the current state of affairs.

His smaller sidekick chose then to pipe up unhelpfully, shooting dubious watery eyes in Sirius's direction and reading his darkened mood with no small amount of unease.

"Marlene looks nice." He ventured hesitantly, sipping nervously at the drink he clutched in his clammy paws. Sirius glanced out at him in distaste. How on earth had he been stuck on Peter patrol? Was it their fault the boy was terrified of his own shadow? Did they really do him any favours by babying him like this? It was _sixth year_. Shouldn't they be able to leave him in a room full of friends and peers, people he had known for the past _six years,_ and trust that he could survive the evening without incident? But no, James wouldn't hear of it.

Sometimes the nobility of James really irked Sirius.

Especially when Marlene was currently affectionately batting away the arm of some fucking Ravenclaw and he was powerless to do anything but watch and make small chat with Wormtail. What the fuck had his life become? Where was Damaris when he _actually _wanted her there? The girl seemed to plague his every waking step and now she chose to be M.I.A?

Fucking typical.

He took a heavy swig of his drink; enjoying it's searing burn down his throat. Grunting in Peter's direction by way of response, he turned his glare back to this silly blonde boy who was grinning dopily at Marlene. He wished he could hear what they were saying. See what exactly was so bloody hilarious.

Peter misconstrued his response; interpreting the grunt as encouraging instead of the blunt end of conversation Sirius had intended. Galvanised by Sirius's apparent indifference, he continued talking. Anything to fill this glum silence. It was making him uneasy.

"It's nice to see her having fun isn't it? You must be relieved now that she's moving on a bit. She seems to be having fun. She even looks less-"

"Peter. _Shut up_."

Peter fell silent straight away; apparently aghast at his overstep. Whatever doubts he had had about Sirius's mood before, they were cleared in the curt and brusque nature of his reply. Taking advantage of the silence, Peter studied his friend quietly. He noticed the way his cold grey eyes were minimally narrowed, and unusually heated, the slight tension in his jaw, the tight set of his lips, how white his knuckles were as they gripped his glass.

Following Sirius's line of sight, he couldn't help but notice the opposite of Marlene. The tension that had gripped her shoulders for the past few weeks had evaporated; the bitterness in her eyes had melted away. She looked happier than he'd seen her in quite some time. Less thin, less stretched. He hadn't even realised how long it had been since he'd seen her smile fully, like she was doing now.

Good, he thought to himself. Marlene was one of the few people who's company he actually welcomed. Or at least she had been. But he severely doubted he'd receive the same warm smiles and kind words he used to. And having witnessed her reactions to each of Sirius's more and more flagrant relationships, culminating in his present fling- Damaris; he really wasn't sure if it was worth the risk of approaching her. Her outbursts had been downright scary and her scathing comments even more so.

He knew for certain he would never make the mistake of underestimating Marlene McKinnon. He had watched her savagely shred and mutilate Cerberus beyond recognition in a fit of rage; just as he had watched her coo and hug him months before when Sirius presented her with the fluffy toy. He couldn't unsee that kind of thing. It left it's mark.

In his mind's eye, he tried supress the image of Cerberus's head flying past him followed swiftly by a severed paw, just as Sirius leaned into him.

"Who is that? Over by McKinnon?"

Peter blinked, Cerberus's silent pleas for help, the desperate gleam in his glassy eye all but forgotten to Peter as he squinted at the boy leaning close to Marlene, eager to be helpful.

But he was stumped. He didn't know this boy. "I dunno. Some Ravenclaw I guess. Why?"

Sirius shrugged; resuming his sullen silence and continued firing death glares at the boy every time Marlene's giggles reached them. If Peter didn't know better he'd say that Sirius was jealous. But the notion was ridiculous. After all, if he had wanted McKinnon that badly, he would never have pulled all the crap he had over the summer. He could hardly hold it against her for moving on, when he himself had made such a show of doing exactly that. Damaris had only been the latest and most recent in a long string of people who were not Marlene; all of those relationships about as subtle as they were long-lived.

But apparently Padfoot _did_ hold it against her. Why else would he constantly be scowling at her like this? Why else would he be asking about this boy?

Peter frowned to himself, suddenly faced with a dilemma. He had felt kind of sorry for Marlene, ever since they returned to school in the Autumn. Every time he saw Marlene's pale face around the common room; every time she turned up late to class; every time he saw her and Lily in deep discussion. But he also knew that he was a Marauder. He had had no choice but to watch Sirius's back. Having said that, he didn't wish Marlene ill will. Far from it. In fact, he wanted nothing more at that moment than to tell Sirius to stop drinking and go to bed and leave Marlene to enjoy the freedom he himself had given her.

But Peter was Peter and Sirius was Sirius and he would never say that.

"Padfoot, let's play Exploding Snap." He enthused half-heartedly.

Sirius shot him a look of undisguised derision. "It's a party Wormtail. No fucking way am I playing _Exploding Snap_. In fact, I think it's high time we mingled."

Peter watched his friend's stumbling advance towards Marlene with a sense of horror. He should do something. He should find someone who was capable of doing something! James. He needed James!

"McKinnon. Who's your new friend?"

Peter heard Sirius's booming voice with a wince. Sirius himself though, saw nothing wrong with his behaviour. He was looking out for Marlene. Just because they weren't together didn't mean he didn't care about her right? It was perfectly natural for him to want to protect her from slimeballs like this stupid blonde boy. In fact, it was almost brotherly. If her brother was here right now, he'd probably thank Sirius.

Well maybe he wouldn't verbally, but he'd be thinking it.

She turned to him in surprise. He didn't like that. On their good days she looked expectant, and even on their bad days she at least looked resigned, but she always knew it was him. He was a constant force in her life, his presence irremovable and inescapable. But apparently not anymore. She'd forgotten about him in her short space of time with this new boy. He knew that she hadn't looked over at him all night. He'd noticed that her gaze never drifted over to him, not even unwillingly. But he'd assumed it was just another phase of determination she was going through; a new wave of efforts to get over him. The look of genuine surprise in her eyes told him otherwise, and he felt his gut twist painfully at the realisation.

Still, he'd come this far. So he plastered a fake smile across his face, draping a loose arm over her shoulders as he sized up this newcomer as only Sirius could. Subtly but unmistakably, this boy would know that he was messing with Sirius Black if he kept up his act with Marlene.

He fixed his cold smile on the blonde kid, who met it warmly, offering his hand with an easy grin.

"Bertram Aubrey. It's nice to meet you officially Black."

Sirius stilled for a millisecond; staring at the outstretched hand. He didn't like that this boy knew who he was, and then obviously knew his connection to Marlene, but didn't seem intimidated or even uncomfortable. Or was he just better at this game than Sirius gave him credit for? Yes, yes he could definitely see a hint of a challenge in those muddy brown eyes. This kid was playing with him. The nerve of it all.

He accepted the hand with a happy grin of his own. "Aubrey is it? How come you know my name and I don't know yours?" He challenged lightly.

Aubrey chuckled amiably. "I'm not sure."

Marlene rolled her eyes, the relaxed nature of her countenance around Aubrey retreating somewhat as she became more brittle with each passing second Sirius's arm was still slung around her frame.

"Probably because he doesn't spend his Sunday afternoons devising new ways in which he can acclaim _even more_ infamy." Her tone was sarcastic, scathing even; but it didn't faze Sirius.

As Bertram glanced at her in concern, Sirius's smirk grew.

"I didn't spend _all_ my Sunday evenings in that manner McKinnon. As well you know." He offered her a dirty wink, watching in satisfaction as she scowled at his implication. Shrugging roughly out from under his arm, she glared coldly up at him.

"Go fuck yourself Black." She muttered, her words spat at him with a hostility that would have astounded him, if only he didn't know her so well. Maybe it would be enough to shock Aubrey though.

He grinned again, knowing how much it would infuriate her.

"_McKinnon_. Such _language_. Have you ever heard the likes Aubrey?"

Turning to smirk at her companion he had the pleasure of seeing the doubt pass across the boy's face. He relished in his uncertainty, could practically see him sizing up the likelihood of him getting into Marlene's pants and whether it would be worth pissing of Sirius Black even if he did. Sirius watched, his grey eyes calculating, waiting for Aubrey to scuttle back into whatever hole he had crawled out of.

Aubrey glanced up at him after staring at Marlene for a bit.

"Look Black, it's been nice meeting you, but I think Marlene would rather if you just left."

Sirius blinked. The gall of this boy.

"I think Marlene can speak for herself Aubrey."

"I think she already has." Aubrey eyed him squarely, not particularly hostile, but firm.

Sirius smirked. Merlin how he would enjoy kicking this pompous kid's ass all the way back to Ravenclaw. But just as he stepped forward, a strong hand held him back.

"Padfoot. What the fuck have you been doing? I haven't seen you all night! McKinnon, Aubrey- do you mind if I steal him?"

Aubrey smiled at James, motioning for them to continue as Marlene muttered viciously under her breath. James took it as consent, quickly hauling his friend out of what was sure to become a sticky situation.

* * *

"Padfoot what are you doing? You're _supposed _to be with Damaris now." James shot him a reprimanding look that told him he was more amused than mad, if entirely perplexed at his actions. Sirius shrugged out James's grip; stumbling slightly as he tripped over the scarlet rug of their dormitory. Flicking his hair out his eyes, he faced his friends; assuming all the dignity he could muster having just half-crawled his way across their dormitory to his bed. It wasn't even that cluttered by usual standards. A few broomsticks lying around, clothes scattered and discarded and Remus's books but… it was actually looking pretty clean.

"I am. I am, alright? I just… didn't like the way Aubrey was talking to her." He finished vaguely

Remus raised a brow. "_With manners_?" He shared a look with James that affirmed that neither of them had a clue what Sirius was on about. From their point of view Sirius had been all up for this party tonight, in flying form all week, and then two minutes into the party he himself had planned, he was trying to start fights.

And unsurprisingly, Marlene was at the root of it all.

Sirius scowled as he flopped onto his bed, dismissive of Remus's opinion. What would he know anyways? The closest Moony had ever gotten to a girl was the doe he tried to eat last full moon.

"They _weren't manners_. He was being a smarmy git. Trying to get in her pants. She deserves better." He sniffed; managing to look authoritative and indifferent all at once. Peter frowned at his assessment of the situation. He didn't want this Aubrey using Marlene either. If Sirius was right about this, then he was glad Sirius had cut in. Maybe he was wrong to fetch James. Maybe-

James scoffed loudly. "Mate… _Are you quite well_? You _do remember_ what happened with you and McKinnon don't you?"

Sirius's scowl deepened. He didn't like James's tone. Of course he remembered. It wasn't exactly his _proudest _moment. But James of all people should know that sometimes people act like dicks around people they love.

"I didn't say she deserved _me_. I said she deserves better. And I stand by that."

He nodded jerkily, reaffirming his point. And he did stand by that. Marlene was… made of pixie dust. All laughter and swishing hair and small bouncing movements. Or… she used to be. Before he'd ruined it like he ruined everything. Didn't mean he didn't care for her or want the best for her. If anything, it just proved how _much_ he cared for her. He knew he wasn't good enough.

Or maybe that was the firewhiskey speaking. He was sure he hadn't had these thoughts yesterday. In fact, he was pretty sure that yesterday when he was rolling under these very sheets with Damaris he couldn't have even remembered how to spell Marlene's name.

But that was before. Before she was smiling at Aubrey and batting her eyelashes and popping up on her tip toes to hear him better over the music. She used to do that with Sirius.

That was before it had ever occurred to him that she might move on too. And… it was different when she moved on. With him, it was simple. Everybody knew that Sirius Black was in it for one thing. If he pulled another girl, it didn't mean anything. It didn't mean he loved them or wanted anything more. It just meant… he was bored, or some unsuspecting girl had caught his fancy for the day. He didn't think it was admirable or anything, but that's the way it was.

Maybe if she had pulled someone when they broke up, like he did. If Marlene had grabbed some boy at some party and kissed him for all the world (and Sirius) to see, then it would be different. It would be to get at him, to show him she didn't care, all the while proving that she did. But no, Marlene had to do it differently. She hadn't even kissed Aubrey and it was almost two months after they had broken up. She was taking it slow and he had no right to be upset, but _he was_.

Because his long string of girls clearly meant nothing, but this, Aubrey, and their slowly blooming relationship where he was sweet and polite and charming and everything Sirius hadn't been, _this,_ this could mean more. Mean everything.

And he, Sirius, had let it happen.

At least he hadn't made a scene.

* * *

"What was that, eh?" Bertram gestured after Potter's retreating back; forcibly hauling an incoherent Sirius from the room and carrying him up the steps to the boy's dormitory. She watched coldly as every now and then he would dig in his heels; refusing to leave as some new thought occurred to him.

He was a mess.

A drunken, stupid mess of a boy.

She flitted her eyes back to Bertram; trying to ignore the impulse to watch Potter grapple with Sirius as they reached the last few steps in her line of sight. He would be gone soon and she would be able to breathe again. She was talking to Aubrey, not Sirius. She needed to forget him.

She smiled, already feeling more forced and fake than she had all evening. Curse Black! She had actually been having fun with Aubrey. She had actually managed to forget his existence. Of course it was easier when he wasn't wrapped around Damaris, the silly tramp.

"Not a clue. He has issues you know? Comes from the inbreeding." She answered slightly too quickly and he smiled gently, his own face softening as he hesitated.

"Look… it's alright you know? Exes can be weird. Believe me; I get it. So long as he… _is_ an ex?"

Marlene blinked at the question. Was he..? Her heart beat hitched slightly as his uncertain gaze and nervous smile confirmed her suspicions. _He was_. That familiar rush of excitement mixed with tinges of fear and doubt began to pool in her stomach. The way a smile spread across her lips before she could even register the impulse to smile, the way her cheeks flushed just that shade darker- it was all so familiar and yet almost forgotten. It was different than the whirlwind of heightened emotions and electrical moments she'd shared with Sirius, different even to the light and breezy affection she'd shared with Devon back in fourth year. This was sweeter than anything she'd had with Sirius, gentler even, but more than the mild enjoyment of her dates with Devon. And she didn't need the stress of Sirius, the pain and the anger; she needed something that was healthier, something good for her, the way Sirius never was.

Maybe this was it.

Maybe it would grow.

She smiled slowly up at him, his doubts and nerves melting away as her smile grew; welcoming and mirroring his own enthusiasm.

"He is. _Most definitely_."


	2. Not Even Close

"Alright mate? How are you feeling?"

James slipped easily into the empty seat by Peter, glancing at the unusually quiet Sirius in unabashed humour. Sirius scowled at him by way of response; nursing his throbbing temples as he resumed glaring at the food on his plate.

"Fabulous. Why? Don't I look it?" He poked at a sausage half-heartedly, his face turning an unusual shade of green. Sticking a fork into it gingerly, he nearly gagged at the juices that came squirting out. Pushing his plate away determinedly, he vowed never to drink again. He knew better than to actually believe that this was the last time of course. It was like giving up cigarettes or Quidditch or… Marlene. He could try all he wanted, it made no use.

His eyes drifted reluctantly to where the blonde was sitting with Mary McDonald, the two of them entangled in deep discussion; leaning forward animatedly and erupting into giggles every five seconds. As another round of laughter reached their ears, his curious gaze soured with irritation. Couldn't they keep it down? It was early, he'd had a rough night, and he was sure whatever they were talking about was not that interesting. But their chatter only grew louder as their redhead ringleader finally deigned to join them. Wrenching his gaze away, he turned back to face the watchful eyes of James.

"Anything interesting happen that I should know about?" He inquired of the group, reaching for the bread basket. Bread was safe. Bread was his friend. He squished the roll lightly in his hands, still soft and warm from the oven, testing his stomach's aversion to the idea of eating it. His stomach remained silent and still; apparently much more indifferent to bread than sausages. Not needing to be told twice, he stuffed it in his mouth before looking up at his friends. They had fallen oddly quiet. Suspiciously so.

James chanced a quick glance with Remus before facing Sirius, a curious expression on his face. "Uh… do you remember… much?"

Suddenly James seemed very interested in his breakfast, paying much more attention to his cereal. It was to the bowl of porridge that he addressed his question. Sirius frowned.

"Bits and pieces. Why? What happened?"

No one rushed forward to answer. James took a long time to chew his mouthful. Especially considering he was eating _porridge_. Ninety year old ladies with dentures would have swallowed before him. Wasn't it like 90 per cent liquid?

"You uh… You tried to start on Aubrey, Sirius."

Sirius paused in his chewing. Who the fuck was Aubrey? He blinked around the group, looking for answers but not really sure what questions to ask. He had started on someone? Why? And why hadn't he finished?

"Aubrey..?"

Remus shot him a dubious look. "You really don't remember? He's in Ravenclaw. Tall? Blonde?"

Sirius shook his head, staring at the table in concentration. Why would he start on some Ravenclaw?

"What did he do?" He asked simply, reaching for some water. He was so dehydrated it hurt to blink. Thankfully his momentary distraction meant that he missed the shared look of confusion and doubt that passed between the Marauders. Should they tell him? Would he find out later? Was it best if he found at later when he wasn't so cranky and… murderous looking?

As was often the way, James spoke up first. "He asked out Marlene."

If he were a lesser man, he would have spat out his sip of water across the table. But as it was, he choked it down, coughing a little as his eyes watered. Aubrey had done _what_? What idiot would be dumb enough to try and date Marlene? Not that she wasn't attractive. Of course she was. Sirius wasn't blind. But this Aubrey obviously was if he thought he had any chance of measuring up to what Sirius and Marlene had. If he couldn't see how this was going to end for him; then he had to be blind. Blind or stupid, and given that he was apparently a Ravenclaw; Sirius would have to opt away from the latter.

"I see." He nodded; the ghost of a smile on his face. "So what?"

If the Marauders had been puzzled before, then now they were baffled. They knew all too well that Sirius liked to pretend there was nothing special about Marlene; but even Sirius couldn't spend all night waxing lyrical about her qualities and berating Aubrey for being a slimy git and then feign indifference the following day. Remus was the first to realise the missing link in Sirius's head.

He did so wish he hadn't been.

"Mate. She said _yes_."

Sirius didn't look up immediately. He continued buttering his toast with slow and deliberate movements. Peter doubted whether he'd even heard.

"Padfoot. She said-"

"I heard, thank you Peter. I was merely wondering why she would go and do a thing like that. What kind of game is she playing?"

Peter frowned. "I don't think it's a game. They seemed to get on. I think she likes-"

James interrupted quickly, knowing all too well that this was the last thing Sirius needed to hear. After all, he spent all his days listening to people telling him to give up on Evans. Sirius was the only person (apart from James himself, of course) who never doubted that it would happen. The only one who humoured him, even when he himself was not so sure. He would be damned if he wouldn't do the same for Sirius, even if Sirius didn't know he needed it yet.

"You know McKinnon though. She's a smiley bird. Aubrey probably misread and she was just too nice to say no."

Sirius stared at him for a moment, wanting to believe; but in his heart of hearts he always knew when James was lying. And confident though he looked; he knew that James didn't believe a word of it.

Remus backed him up helpfully. "It's only to Hogsmeade anyways. And Henry hasn't sanctioned it."

They all chuckled at Remus's dry little comment, knowing how overbearing Marlene's brother could be. Not without some justification though. That family had been through hell. And Sirius knew that he had played his own part in Marlene's sufferings. Maybe not to the extent to which Henry blamed him; but he was by no means faultless.

His eyes drifted her way again, watching shrewdly as she suddenly gripped Lily's hand, whispering quickly in her ear and grinning happily when she exploded with laughter at whatever Marlene had shared.

He felt slightly ill.

"Fuck. I need the bathroom."

* * *

"Lils. I swear to God, that is what he said."

Lily shot her a sceptical look, green eyes narrowed in disbelief as her eyebrows sloped upwards. Twirling her food on her fork, she snorted slightly.

"That is the biggest load of crap I have ever heard Marls. I don't know why you would think-"

Marlene's mouth fell open in indignation; her own fork clattering down on the polished wood. "Why would I lie? Are you saying that I _don't_ have eyes that sparkle with the light of a thousand stars?"

Lily shrugged, smirking into her breakfast as Mary giggled at Marlene's expression. She continued to stare at her best-friend, hoping to force her into admitting that her eyes _were in fact_ that sparkly through sheer force of will. It didn't matter that Aubrey hadn't said it. _Of course_ he hadn't. Marlene would never consider dating someone that _actually_ said things like that. But it didn't mean he wasn't thinking it, or that it wasn't true.

Mary tilted her head, chuckling at Lily's determined impassiveness and Marlene's serious expression, both threatening to explode into laughter any second. "Aw Marls, don't be like that." She pointed a fork in her friend's direction, flicking platinum strands of hair out of her eyes as she leaned forward in earnest. "You know if you were a booger? I'd pick you first."

There was a beat of silence as both girls stared at Mary, nonplussed. Then they erupted into laughter, clutching each other for support and gasping for air at their favourite private joke; the smooth and oh-so-flattering one liner Walkner had once delivered to Lily. They were so absorbed in their own hilarity that no one noticed the tall boy standing behind Mary, staring pointedly down at their group. He had to clear his throat noisily (several times) before Lily eventually caught sight of him. She straightened up quickly; eyeing him coldly.

"Black? Can we help you?"

Marlene's smile faded at the mention of his name, but she looked up at him reluctantly. He grinned back, a crooked incorrigible grin that even now had her stomach in somersaults. It wasn't fair, the effect he had on her. The fact that she couldn't hate him only made her want to hate him more. To have hot, angry, hate sex-

God he was insufferable.

"I was hoping for a word with McKinnon here."

She looked away awkwardly, feeling Mary and Lily's eyes on her, practically hearing them screaming at her to say no. Sometimes she worried that they got annoyed with her constantly moaning about Sirius, only to come running whenever he beckoned. It must be irritating. Telling someone they should stay away and have them nod and agree with you; only to see them doing the exact opposite. She was a mess.

"I have a few choice words for you. Which one would you like?" She replied eventually, raising bored eyes back to meet his.

Their intense grey darkened fractionally as he tilted his head and considered her. It was as if Lily and Mary had melted into the background, both ceasing to exist. It was just Sirius and her, her eyes boring into his and his searing into hers. He smirked slightly.

"Marls, can't we just talk? I have something to tell you."

She cocked her head in turn. "Are you pregnant?"

His smirk grew.

She remained indifferent. "Are you dying?"

He shrugged. "Aren't we all?"

She nodded. "Well beyond that… I don't think I care Sirius."

He stepped forward as she turned back to her friends; eager not to end this conversation. It was the most he'd talked to her in weeks. At least the most they'd talked without the use of profanities.

"I want to apologise."

There was a stillness that fell over the group as Lily and Mary turned expectantly to the small blonde; watching her reaction carefully. She slowly lifted hazel eyes back to Sirius, her expression unreadable.

"For what exactly?"

He shrugged. "I'm led to believe I was a dick to your boyfriend. Some Ravenclaw bloke? And I'm sorry."

She exhaled quickly. That was what he was sorry for? _That was it_? She didn't know why she felt cheated. It probably had something to do with the fact that his treatment of Aubrey was fairly low down on her list of ways Sirius Black had wronged her. But it had more to do with the fact that he _was sorry_ for hassling Aubrey. That he was sorry for acting like he cared; for acting like he was jealous; for acting like she wasn't alone in this ridiculous inability of hers to let him go. He was changing his mind now. Saying he didn't care. He even called Aubrey her boyfriend.

He was _such_ an indescribable dick.

"Were you? I didn't even know you were _at_ the party."

She stared back down at the plate; not willing to chance seeing Lily or Mary raise their eyebrows in incredulity. She had spent quite some time elaborating on the hypocrisy of Black before bed time the night before. They knew pretty well that Sirius's presence was all Marlene had talked about for hours before she had passed out. But she hoped they were good enough friends not to give her away. What was she even saying? _Of course_ they were.

He seemed unsure of what to say. "So we're good then?"

She laughed slightly. But it was cold and humourless. "Not even close."

There's not much you can say to that.


	3. Potter's Wet Dreams

"I'm confused. You want to _follow _Marlene? On her date? Isn't that kind of… illegal?"

Sirius scoffed, tossing the snitch back to James in order to better address Remus's question. "Is it illegal to try and protect your friends now Remus?"

Reclined out on the grass in the last bout of autumn sunshine, James cracked open a lazy eye to snatch the snitch from the air, rolling over to face the group. "I don't know Padfoot. Sure sounds like stalking to me. And if Evans ever found out I'd given you the cloak to _stalk_ Marlene-"

Sirius cocked a brow. "What? You'd be even further from getting in her pants? Is that _possible_?"

All he got by way of reply was a snigger and a snitch in the face. The maturity of his friends was baffling. How could they not see that he was doing this for Marlene's own good? She was too naïve about boys. He'd been relying on Henry to be the bigger person and nip this ridiculous romance in the bud, but apparently Henry had conveniently decided to butt out of Marlene's life. Smashing timing on his part as ever.

So no. It was all left to Sirius to save the day. He had thought he might have his friend's support but he saw now that that was not the case.

Glaring angrily out across the grounds, he cast his mind around for another way that he could be on standby to help Marlene.

"Be realistic mate. How were you ever going to avoid Damaris on a Hogsmeade weekend? You do _remember _Damaris right?"

He rolled his eyes at the mention of the girl. What had started off as a no-strings mutual benefit arrangement was quickly turning into something he'd never anticipated. He should have known that no girl was capable of just having sex. When Damaris came along, he should have known it was too good to be true. And now he was paying the price. Constantly carrying her stuff and listening to her prattle on about girls he didn't even know and music he wouldn't be caught dead listening to. The sex wasn't even _that _good.

"How could I forget?" He inserted dryly, tossing the snitch to Peter in an effort to include him. They all pretended not to notice when he fumbled the ball and chucked it weakly to Remus.

"She's not coming around again tonight is she?" James glanced at Sirius out of the corner of his eye, already dreading the answer.

Sirius shrugged. He didn't know. He hadn't actually invited her in weeks. She just sort of… turned up.

Remus sighed. "Come on. She's there all the time! Can't you just tell her no?"

Sirius looked at him for a beat. "Could you?"

The group fell silent. It was a fair point. She may have had a kind of irritating personality, but Damaris was smoking. She had a way of moving, of speaking, of _breathing_, that just put you in the mind of sex.

"I could." James inserted after a while. The group attention swivelled to him; Sirius sceptical, Remus impressed and Peter confused.

"What?" He defended. "It's not inconceivable to say no. And anyways- Evans-"

"Ah!" Sirius breathed; confusion cleared for him. "You could say no if you had Evans?"

James sighed. "If I had even the slightest chance; I'd say no. In a heartbeat."

Sirius flopped back on the grass beside him, puzzled. "Why though? I mean, it wouldn't hinder your chances. She can't be mad if you're not together. And if Evans is that special, you can always… you know… picture her."

The group was silent. Remus glanced over at Sirius curiously. "I hate to break it to you Sirius, but, no, _you can't_. Girls tend not to like it if they find out you pictured someone else when you were with them."

Peter nodded solemnly. "How would you like it if Damaris pictured one of us?"

There were another few moments of silence and then Sirius cracked, rolling across the ground in laughter as James wheezed and choked beside him; even Remus cracked a grin and a chuckle. Peter flushed, unsure of what he had said and whether they were laughing with him or at him. He laughed nervously, looking more confused than amused.

As they slowly rightened themselves, still chuckling at the memory, James glanced over at Sirius; suddenly curious.

"Do you then? Picture someone else?"

Sirius stilled slightly; not liking this turn in conversation. But he couldn't lie. Not to the Marauders. And anyways, no matter what they said, _everyone_ did it.

He shrugged. "Course. Not all the time. But if someone springs to mind."

James shook his head in disbelief, smiling somewhat. "Go on then. Who?"

Sirius smirked. "Can't say."

Remus rolled his eyes. "Does it start with an M and end in an Arlene McKinnon?"

Sirius stared at him for a second. "No. But it does start with a Hope and end in a Lupin."

Roars of laughter and jeers erupted between the boys as Remus catapulted on top of Sirius; grinning and punching him all at once, as Sirius rolled about, crying with laughter beneath him.

"Don't you dare talk about my mother." Remus huffed, more amused than annoyed, as finally he climbed off the dark haired boy still convulsing at his own wit on the grass.

"I won't Moony, don't worry. What happens between your mother and I will stay our little secret."

* * *

"Honestly, you'd think they just invented Polyjuice Potion." Lily noted sarcastically as her train of thought was disrupted for the fifth time by the sixth year boys under the tree. Their gales of laughter, and shouting, and chanting was enough to distract even the most attentive of studiers; and Marlene had difficulty concentrating in class, never mind outside in the sunshine with the Marauders screeching every two seconds.

Plonking her book roughly down on the grass, Lily turned to Marlene, finally defeated. Marlene breathed a sigh of relief. Thank Merlin. She had been reading the same sentence about Thestrals for what seemed like hours now. The sun was frying her brain and she wanted nothing more than to just run straight into the Black Lake and cool her throbbing temples.

Even if she knew it was actually much colder than it looked and she probably wouldn't get further than dipping her toes before dawdling at the edge for hours trying to psyche up the courage to go further and then eventually giving up and heading back to the castle. Not to mention all the creepy water creatures festering in the murky depths.

But still. It was a nice dream.

"Earth to Marls? Have you heard a word I just said?"

Marlene blinked. "Uh… James Potter is stupid?" She guessed wildly.

Lily narrowed her eyes suspiciously. "You… that was a lucky guess wasn't it?"

She grinned; shaking her head and undoing her ponytail, letting her hair tumble wildly down her back. "Not at all. I was listening. _Raptly._ Please continue."

Lily rolled her eyes but smiled. "I was just commenting on how ridiculous it is that he actually carries that snitch around. He's not even Looker."

Marlene froze. Was she trying to say what Marlene thought she was?

Lily stilled too. "That's not right is it?"

Marlene shook her head, biting her lip to keep from laughing. Lily frowned, concentrating hard as she snapped her fingers, trying to trigger a memory of the name. "Finder?"

She shook her head again, shoulders trembling with the effort of not bursting in Lily's face.

"Damn. Go on. Just tell me. I can see your dying to."

"Why don't we let James? I'm sure he'd be a lot more knowledgeable."

Lily's eyes narrowed again, becoming thin slits of green, glinting menacingly in the sunlight as she reached out and gripped Marlene's wrist. "Don't you dare."

Marlene grinned back cheekily. "Quidditch and Lily in one conversation? It's the stuff of Potter's wet dreams, Lils. I can't be the one to deprive him of this."

"What's this about Potter's wet dreams?" Mary dumped her bag on the grass beside them with a huff before lowering herself down after it, finally free from Ancient Runes. Her words were loud and clear, and unfortunately for her flushed friend, very carrying. Marlene and Lily turned to her in horror, motioning for her to keep her voice down frantically and quickly glancing back round to the nearby tree where the Marauders had been sitting. Just to check if they'd heard.

The three girls burned crimson as four curious faces turned around to stare back at them; Potter's face lighting up when he recognised them. Lily's face flamed even darker as he stood up; beginning to make his way over.

"Oh my God. Oh my God. He totally heard you. He thinks that we were talking about… about… _things_! What am I going to say? _Marlene_?"

Marlene stared open mouthed at her best-friend; trying desperately hard not to find the situation as amusing as she did. Potter was getting nearer and- oh fuck, they were all coming. Now that Sirius had joined his friend's advancement, the situation seemed a lot less funny as far as Marlene was concerned.

Mary placed a calming hand on Lily's knee. "Chill out. We just deny whatever they ask us. Just keep denying." She seemed confident, and both girls clung to her certainty, painting calm and bored expressions on their faces as James finally flopped onto the grass beside them, smiling crinkly eyed at Lily and ruffling his hair.

Marlene had her suspicions that he didn't ruffle it to be "a peacock" as Lily claimed, but out of nerves. It explained why he did it so much more in front of Lily. But her peacock theory also worked so… who was to say?

"Ladies. Evans. How come you aren't in the library?"

Lily bristled. "We can leave the library if we want to Potter. You don't _own_ the grounds."

He blinked. "I just meant that we have that History test tomorrow and you usually… study in the library."

Lily blinked back. "Yes well. It was sunny today so…"

Sirius and Remus finally arrived, Remus lowering himself down easily beside Lily, and Sirius hesitating for a beat before sitting directly opposite Marlene, allowing Peter the spot right beside her. As he realised the seat left for him, his watery little eyes widened in fear, feeling all too pointedly that Marlene would not want him for seating company. But he had no alternative. Wasn't it ruder if he walked away?

Cautiously, he slipped into the space beside her. She didn't even glance in his direction and he felt his heart sink. Because although she wasn't looking _at_ Sirius; she was pointedly looking everywhere _but at_ him. She hadn't even noticed Peter's arrival; she was so busy pretending not to notice Padfoot's.

In turn, Sirius seemed to be making a point of staring directly at her- the more uncomfortable he made her- the better. It proved he still had an effect on her, that there was still something-

"Any particular reason you're staring at me Black?"

"Probably the same reason you're avoiding eye-contact with me."

Marlene rolled her eyes, finally forced to look at him. She did so grudgingly though, and with no small amount of dislike.

"Which is?"

"Undeniable attraction."

She scoffed; laughing at his audacity but also at the vague truthfulness of the statement. Had he said it just to make her blush? Because it was direct and outrageous and the kind of thing that was sure to get a reaction? Or because he was Sirius Black and he never saw any reason to lie about what he wanted? Because there was some truth in it and he wasn't afraid to admit it?

What did it matter? Why was she even debating this?

"You're delusional." She dismissed him.

"You're in denial." He countered.

"You're insufferable!" She snapped.

"You're the one who won't let it go." He responded.

"Whose fault is that?" She queried sarcastically.

James laughed nervously. "You two. You're starting to sound like me and Evans."

Lily let out a burst of laughter and the group turned to her in surprise. Stopping abruptly, she raised a hand to her mouth cautiously; almost as if she didn't know what had happened. As if her mouth had betrayed her by chuckling at James's joke, and she needed to be ready lest it happen again. He looked over at her slowly; his face lighting up at the realisation he had made her laugh. She smiled reluctantly back and Sirius remembered their purpose in coming over here.

"Something funny Evans?" He teased. "Something you'd like to share?"

Lily blushed furiously, knowing instinctively that they had finally come to the dreaded topic. Curse Mary's loud voice! That was clearly not something you shouted out in the open!

Sirius's smirk grew. "Really Evans? Nothing? Seems like you girls were chatting about something pretty funny before we arrived."

"We were." Marlene intervened, grinning quickly at Lily. "We were talking about Quidditch."

James sat up a little straighter. "Really? You, uh, like Quidditch Evans?"

Lily looked aghast. "Um. I don't really know…"

"She was just saying she loves a… what position was it Lils?"

Lily shot murderous glares at Marlene, fuming at her betrayal. But at least Potter was so enthralled that he didn't even care about the whole "Potter's Wet Dreams" fiasco. Which was a win in itself.

"I… um, I think it was a… Searcher?"

Marlene and Mary burst into hysterics as Sirius let out a bark of laughter and James tried very hard to keep a straight face. His efforts were valiant; considering the fact that had anyone else made that mistake, he would have howled with laughter till he had to be brought to the hospital wing. As it was he just looked slightly red in the face and a bit… unsteady.

"Close." He managed after a while, and Lily grew a little less defensive; her shoulders slackening slightly as she turned her disapproving eyes away from her so called friends and placed hopeful ones on James instead.

"Really?"

He blinked, encouraged by her uncertainty. "Yeah. Yeah, absolutely. Seeker/Searcher- it's practically the same thing. I think in some European countries, the direct translation for that position is actually Searcher, so when you think about it-"

"In what European countries?" Remus asked; a wry smile on his face. Even Lily smiled good-naturedly as James floundered.

"…France?" He guessed after a while.

Sirius shot him a shrewd look. "You just made that up."

"I didn't."

"Yes you did."

"Okay so I did! But if Evans wants to learn about Quidditch, you guys shouldn't be discouraging her! It's wrong. It's an all-inclusive sport and the first sport to be played internationally in over-"

"Here we go." Remus intoned as the Marauders shared a knowing look.

* * *

"Weird to see them getting along huh?"

Marlene jumped at the low voice in her ear, following Sirius's gaze to where Lily and Potter were walking ahead of them, as Potter listened enraptured to whatever Lily was saying. He must have stumbled across one of her passions, Marlene mused. There were certain subjects that really got Lily going, topics that once happened upon; you could not shut her up. It was like James and his Quidditch; only worse. Quidditch was at least popular. Not many people wanted to listen for hours on end to someone reviewing the entire history of Gringotts since it's very foundation. Except, evidently, Potter.

"-even a Curse-Breaker! Could you imagine that Potter?"

Lily's voice trailed back to them on the cool breeze, dusk already falling like a soft blanket over the Castle grounds. The lights flickering down from the castle glowed a warm buttery yellow. Marlene bet it was warm in there. Looking longingly up at the Gryffindor tower where she knew a crackling fire and toasty bed was waiting for her; she cursed their decision to allow the Marauders distract them for far too long. Chilly night air was beginning to seep through her clothes, and she shuddered involuntarily, quickening her pace.

Sirius quickened his to keep up with her. She noticed all of a sudden that Mary and Remus and Peter had pulled far ahead. It was just her and Sirius. Had he done that on purpose? She glanced at him suspiciously, realising he was still waiting for an answer.

"Yeah. All my dreams come true at once." She replied sarcastically, hoping he would get the hint and leave her alone. The ever encroaching darkness was casting shadows across his angular face, creating cheekbones that looked as though they could only have been sculpted, and a jawline that made her want to run her lips-

"Are you cold?" He looked down at her, his voice quiet.

She shook her head obstinately. She was fine. She didn't want his chivalry. She didn't want his _anything_.

He stared down at her, her eyes firmly fixed ahead. Almost as if she couldn't look at him. As if looking at him made her feel physically ill. His heart constricted at thought that he might repulse her that much. He knew he deserved it. He knew that their tenuous situation was entirely his fault; and he had no excuses. She had been right to end it. Didn't mean he wished she hadn't; but he had no one to blame but himself.

"Here." He shrugged out of his jacket, pulling the soft fabric over her slight shoulders, rigid with tension and cold. She shook her head, pulling away slightly, but he held fast.

"Marlene. It's the least I can do. We both know that."

His quiet resignation stirred something in her as she slowly looked up at him. What did he mean? Was this his way of apologising for that night? Or for all the nights before it? Or for all the nights since? Because it would take more than one impulsive chivalrous moment for her to even feel inclined to forgive him. He took a step back, interpreting her silence as permission and leaving the jacket on her shoulders. It was warm and soft and Merlin it even smelled like him; woody and musky and- _what_ was she doing?

She opened her eyes with a snap. She needed to get her shit together. What would Lily say if she saw her acting like this? But what would Lily say if she saw _Sirius_ acting like this, Marlene reasoned? He seemed to keep this softer kinder side reserved only for her eyes. If only he could be trusted to remain this way when she wasn't around, or when they weren't alone.

But he couldn't. She knew it and so did he. He was his own worst enemy and by extension, he was hers too. Because try as she might, no amount of pretending she had moved on doctored her memories of the way his lips felt against hers. The only cure to that maddening impulse to kiss him, was to remember how it felt being woken in the dead of night by the sound of pebbles rapping against her window; that irrational fear that maybe they'd come back, that maybe they'd decided her parents weren't enough- only to see it was James. To remember wandering the streets of London trying to find a boy that was so lost, he couldn't even find himself.

He was self-destructive and she couldn't implode with him. She had her own life to get back on track, her own issues to deal with. She couldn't be saving Sirius every second day. It was hard enough for her to stay afloat by herself. Yeah, his home situation was awful and she wished that she could help, but until he actually wanted to accept someone's help- what could she do? It's not like her home situation was idyllic. She was fucking orphaned. Her parents were _dead_. It was easier to move on with life as normal when she was at Hogwarts, when their absence was only really brought home in the lack of morning Owls for her. But that summer had been the hardest she had ever known, and even now she wasn't ready to face her life without them.

He was just so-

"I'm sorry." He whispered, coming to a complete standstill. How had that happened? How had she let that happen? She was supposed to be speeding up- trying to get back to the castle- not lingering around the grounds having DMC's with Sirius!

She couldn't resist looking up at him though, to check what it was he was sorry for this time. She wished she had had more strength than that. She wished she'd just kept moving. Ignored his words. Because when she looked up at him; she believed him. She believed he regretted it- all of it. Believed he loved her and wanted to change for her and wanted to stop hating himself and punishing himself for whatever messed up ideals his family had imposed upon him. She wanted nothing more than to run her hands through his hair and kiss away all his troubles and guilt with soft words and gentle touches and tell him everything was going to be okay.

"For what?" She impressed herself with the steadiness of her tone. She had no idea where this strength was coming from. But any second it would snap and she'd be in his arms and he'd be hers and everything would be right again.

He took a shaky breath. "Everything. For… that night. The night you and James found me. I don't… Yeah. Everything. The way I acted when we came back and the way I've acted since. Damaris-"

She flinched at the name. And forced herself to remember.

Again.

"Yeah, me too." She whispered back.

He lifted dark eyes; not daring to hope. "What are you sorry for?"

She turned back to the castle, hesitating.

"I'm sorry I stole your jacket. Here, I'll see you tomorrow."

She handed it back brusquely, trying to walk ahead. He cut her off.

"Marlene; don't go on this date with him. Don't-"

"I'll see you tomorrow Sirius."

"But I-"

"_I'll see you tomorrow_."


	4. Discussions in the Dark

"Wake up."

James mumbled non-responsively, clutching his blankets that little tighter and rolling away from the _rudeness_ of this voice; shaking him and demanding that he get up. He was comfortable and sleepy and warm and had been having a wonderful dream about-

"Prongs, _wake up_."

He looked up blearily, Sirius's figure black and indistinguishable in the dark of the room. He yawned. "Sirius? What are you doing? It's three in-"

"I know what time it is."

James frowned, his friend's tone slightly off. He knew Sirius well enough to know that he wouldn't be waking him up for nothing. Sirius very rarely looked for help. It was one of his best and worst qualities. Reaching for his glasses, he blinked as he slipped them on, straightening up in his bed and eyeing his friend warily.

"What's up?"

Sirius lowered himself onto the bed, staring intently at James.

"I want her back."

James blinked. "Marlene? Of course you do. Why are you waking me at three in the morning to tell me this?"

Sirius shook his head, his dark hair tumbling over his face. He brushed it back impatiently, revealing tired eyes and pale skin. James looked at him carefully.

"Mate. Haven't you been sleeping?"

Sirius scowled, brushing off his question. "What? No- I can't. You're not understanding me. I want her back. She can't go on this date with-"

"I get you. I get you, I just don't see how you're going to stop it. Or why we're talking about it now? Have you… have you not slept since? Since you walked her back to the castle?"

Slightly alarmed by his friend's erratic behaviour, he watched in concern as Sirius frowned again. Undoubtedly he was mulling over how to stop the date, unconcerned by the fact that he hadn't slept in three nights. He bit his lip, pushing back his hair again. He seemed weirdly restless for someone who hadn't slept in days to James.

"I can't stop thinking about it, James. I can't sleep. I just have- I- have dreams."

James blinked, rubbing his eyes tiredly. "You have nightmares about walking her back to the castle?"

Sirius shook his head irritably. "No. About- about the night you found me over the holidays. And… you know. Before."

James sat up a little straighter, his hazel eyes suddenly alert and focused. They had never spoken about that night. It went as unspoken consent that James would be there when Sirius did want to talk. But Sirius never did and James didn't push. Truthfully he felt he would have to bring it up soon and had been dreading it. Sirius couldn't go back to that nuthouse. He needed to move in with him and his parents for good. James had never imagined his home life was actually that bad or… or he'd have done something ages ago. He'd thought nothing of the bruises and cuts and now when he thought back he felt sick.

He'd been so dim. Sirius lived in the middle of London for Merlin's sake. How could he possibly have that many Quidditch accidents in the middle of all those muggles? He opened his mouth, finding it oddly dry. Swallowing quickly, he glanced back at Sirius who was staring resolutely at his hands.

"You have nightmares about it? About what… what happened before we found you?"

Sirius raised heavy dark eyes slowly, still focusing that unnervingly steady gaze on anything but James. This time his focus was the lamp by James's bed.

"Yeah. Sometimes. Other times it's about… different things. Sometimes it's about when you found me."

James nodded, reading subtly between the lines. In his day to day life, words like subtle or tactful were not commonly associated with him. But there was one person he understood so completely that subtlety was as easy as counting for him. When Sirius said he had nightmares about the night James had found him, he knew it wasn't really true.

He had nightmares about when Marlene had found him.

"Padfoot. You know… you know you can't go back right? At Christmas or… this summer?"

Sirius scoffed bitterly, running another hand through his hair. "Yeah. I know I shouldn't. But I can't… I can't just leave."

James frowned. "Regulus."

Sirius finally looked at him. "You don't know them James. You don't know what they're like. He isn't… he isn't like them. I _know _it. He just- he needs someone to make him see-"

Shifting more upright in his bed, James leaned forward in earnest. "You didn't need someone to make you see. _You just knew_."

He became more and more agitated as he tried to find the words to make James see what he would just never understand. Part of him didn't _want_ James to ever really understand. Because to truly get it? He had to live it. He had to experience sitting in frustration as everyone around him voiced purist bullshit like it was fact, and silently scream at them to shut the fuck up, and hate himself for not just opening his mouth and telling them what _bullshit_ it all was. It would mount and mount and eat at him, gnawing at his conscience until finally something blurts from his mouth and he can't take it back. And why should he? Adrenaline takes over and everything he'd held back comes spilling out with aggression that surprises even himself. He knows where it's all leading and he doesn't care. He won't be one of them. _He won't_.

And later, when he's been forced from the room and the evening has come to a close downstairs and the last of the jazzy music and sharply dressed guests have left, he can feel his stomach plummeting and his blood turn to ice. Because he knows what's coming. He wishes now he could have held his tongue. All his bravery deserts him. He wonders why he was even placed in Gryffindor at all as he grits his teeth and steels himself, wishing for the pain to be over. But he doesn't fight back. To fight back would mean using magic and he can't risk that. Can't risk being expelled from the only home he ever knew. Separated from the only real family he ever had.

They think he holds his tongue because he's finally learned obedience. But he never will. Not to them at any rate. He swears it. The only loyalty he holds is to three boys who will be waiting on the Hogwarts Express for him. Three boys who would have no idea that he slept the night before his departure lying completely still on his side because he couldn't breathe through the pain of lying on his injured ribs; shaking and sweating and wishing- no- _praying_, he was anyone else. Praying he was James or Peter- even Remus. But he would never trade places with them. He wouldn't wish that on his best-friends.

Snape maybe.

"He's my brother James. I can't just- I can't leave him behind."

James furrowed his brow sadly, a rare sombre expression on his face. "You can't drag him with you either. And Sirius, if you even think about trying to go back; my parents will drag you straight home. Remus and Peter and I will too. We could wait for a full moon if you like? I'd like to see Walburga's face when Moony comes knocking to collect you."

A ghost of a smile played on Sirius's lips at the idea. Not only a blood traitor and a Gryffindor, but a friend to half-breed scum? She'd die of shame if not fright. But one word played in his head.

_Home_.

We'd drag you _home_.

"Prongs, I can't ask your parents to-"

"Shut up Sirius. Now I _know_ this conversation is over. My mum would kick me out in a flash if it meant having you as a son, and we both know my dad isn't far behind her. The treacherous dungbeetles."

"James this is diff-"

"Go back to bed. I'm done listening."

Sirius rose uncertainly, smiling slightly. He could count on James to make him feel better.

"Prongs?"

James stretched out again, his glasses already tossed aside as he rolled away from where Sirius stood. "Fuck off mate." He repeated obstinately.

"Yeah. But… thanks."

James smirked. "No problem. Now fuck off."


	5. Raising the question of why?

"Alright chaps; rise and shine!"

Sirius furrowed his brow as morning came all too early. It seemed he had only blinked and suddenly the night had passed and he had to get up. For all of it's evasiveness last night, he simply couldn't shake sleep off this morning. Grunting, he clutched his blankets tighter and shut his eyes in denial. It wasn't morning. Couldn't possibly be.

James bounded over happily. "That means you too Sirius. We can't help you if you are stuck in bed snoozing all day."

Peter yawned; kicking off a blanket unenthusiastically. "What do we need to help Sirius with?" He inquired, the words somewhat muffled as another yawn seized control of his mouth.

Remus sat up slowly, looking tired but alert. "Apart from his complete inability to whisper." He shot an irritated look Sirius's way, telling him in no uncertain terms that yeah, _he had_ woken the entire room last night. Sirius smirked sleepily in response, knowing full well that if Moony had actually heard a word of their discussion, he wouldn't be receiving these death glares.

"What?" Peter asked.

James waved a hand to tell him to ignore it, plonking happily onto Sirius's bed and sitting on top of the disgruntled boy's feet. Purposefully, Sirius might add.

"Enough. We have an important task. Marlene is _not_ going on that date with Aubrey."

"Why not? I thought she liked him?" Peter blinked, too confused by all this chatter and _why_ were they up so early on a Saturday?

Remus cast him a pitying look. "He means that she is, but we're going to stop her. Which again raises the question of… why?"

Sirius glanced at him in bafflement. "Because he's a creep? Isn't it obvious?"

Shaking his head slowly, Remus swung a leg out of bed and turned sitting to face the two boys. "Padfoot, I like Marlene. So do Peter and James, and we all think that she's good for you. Just don't pretend that you don't feel anything for her because we know it's not true."

Sirius frowned. "I didn't say I didn't-"

"Well, be _sure_ about it, because as I say, we like her. And… I know that you're sorry, but you _did_ hurt her. She's not like other girls Sirius, she has a _lot _going on. She doesn't need you messing her up because you're bored or because you're jealous. She just lost her parents and I don't think-"

"Moony. He _knows_ all of this. He does. And he loves her alright? So we've got his back."

Sirius glanced up at James, but let the comment pass. Love her? He wasn't so sure about that. He definitely infinitely preferred her to other girls and he didn't want anyone else to have her. And he wasn't just being selfish. He knew she felt the same way and that he could definitely make her happier than Aubrey could ever dream of- but _love_ her?

Dubious.

"Fine. Fine. What exactly is the plan?" Remus shrugged, looking between them expectantly.

James raised a brow. "Not entirely sure yet. Short of telling her the _complete_ truth I don't really know what we can do."

Sirius's face darkened. "Not a chance. We aren't telling her a thing."

The group accepted this without question. It was Sirius's decision who to tell. Much like it was Remus's decision who was included in his "furry little problem".

Peter lit up. "We could make Polyjuice Potion and pretend to be Aubrey and be really rude!"

"Great. Except that takes like two months to brew." Remus corrected kindly.

James chuckled.

"Yeah and everyone knows girls like guys that are rude. We might as well just tie McKinnon to his bed and- um, yeah… good suggestion Pete. But let's keep thinking." He trailed off hurriedly as Sirius's face turned thunderous at the notion of Marlene being tied to anyone's bed.

Presumably anyone's but his own.

"Okay, any more ideas guys?" James glanced around as the group buried their heads in thought.


	6. Lacking the Killer Edge

"Marlene..?"

The smaller Gryffindor whipped her head around, a mess of sandy hair tumbling over her shoulder as she cut her eyes to Lily. She had finally finished rooting nosily through all the clothes dumped on Marlene's bed and was now standing perfectly still with some small garment outstretched in her hands. Mary sat on the floor at the foot of her bed, dipping her nail varnish brush into a small pot of pink paint and sweeping it carefully over her bare toes. She too arched her head back towards Lily curiously, before cursing under her breath and reaching for the varnish remover potion lying perched on top of Marlene's uprooted trunk.

Their last roommate lay on her own bed, absently flicking through witch weekly and glancing up occasionally when addressed. But aside from that, she was happy to keep to herself. Dorcas had never been particularly chatty or friendly; preferring the company of her books and the solitude of an empty dorm than the noise and bustle of the Common Room. But she was fond of the girls in her dorm and their quiet inclusion of her in their activities. They allowed her participate as much as she wanted to and pushed for no more.

Marlene grimaced as she took in the top Lily had plucked from the pile and was dangling teasingly in front of her. The amused expression on Lily's faced confirmed her suspicions that she wasn't serious about her selection. And it was about time to get serious. Marlene had no room for humour at this grave hour. She had precious few hours before she met up with Bertram and goddammit she would look perfect.

"Put it back. There is _not a chance_ I am wearing it. It's a date. Not an audition to work at a strip club."

Lily smirked at her assessment, glancing over the garment one last time. "When did you even get it? I don't remember seeing it before."

Marlene stilled slightly. Staring at her own reflection in the mirror with her back to the room, she could make out clearly how her lips tightened, how stiff her shoulders became. Taking a breath she forced herself to relax, reaching slowly for her eyeliner and carefully applying it. When she spoke, she deliberately kept her voice calm.

"Mum got it for me yonks ago. Remember? About the time when she was having her mid-life crisis and trying to relive her wild youth through me."

Lily's eyes softened at the memory as a small smile played across her face. "Oh yeah. When she tried to bring us to see Celestina Warbeck?"

Marlene snorted, dipping her brush again as Mary looked up with a grin. "Yeah."

Silence fell across the room as all of the girls lost themselves in their own thoughts. Mary and Lily wondered if Marlene was thinking about her Mum, and if they had upset her, and how they might cheer her up, and how horrible it all must be, and they just _didn't know_ how she coped.

Marlene did her best to refocus on her date. She did her best to shake her mother's presence from her thoughts. She felt almost guilty for doing it but she had just applied a layer of mascara and if she cried now then she'd have to start again and she didn't have time for all this.

Lily sank slowly into Marlene's bed as she perched on it's edge, still flicking through Marlene's never ending wardrobe. "Have you spoken to Henry about this date?" She asked lightly, subtly changing the subject.

Marlene paused, a slight frown creasing her brow as she held her mascara wand aloft. "No. Him and Aubrey are friends right? Shouldn't be a problem." She shrugged confidently.

Lily and Mary shared a look.

Mary glanced sideways up at her. "You sure about that? I don't think you can take the same chances with Aubrey as you did with Sirius."

Marlene turned to face her, pointing a threatening mascara brush in her direction. "What is that supposed to mean?"

Mary shrugged, stretching uncomfortably to get a good angle on her little toe.

"Just that he's not as… I dunno, what's the word here Lils? He's not as… experienced? Street-wise? One fisticuffs and he's a goner. He lacks the killer edge, you know?"

Marlene rolled her eyes, shaking her head in derision. "Please. I have visited Sirius's house. It's a _mansion_. He's a Black for fuck's sake- he wasn't exactly _raised by the streets_."

Lily tilted her head in agreement. "And maybe it's a good thing that Aubrey doesn't have "killer edge". With any luck it'll mean that Henry will like him more and they won't fight _at all_."

Marlene nodded knowledgeably. "I'm pretty confident that that is _exactly_ how it's going to play out."

Mary shrugged. "Alright. Don't mind me."

Lily let out a little squeal and chucked a light blue dress at Marlene, who took it square in the face with a small "oof" of surprise. Gingerly plucking it off her newly applied make-up, Marlene held it out for examination. It's pale blue was pretty- feminine without being overly girlie. It's top half was soft and stretchy; and she knew it would rest nicely tight across her chest. The skirt was loose and flowing with a nice summery feel, and came to a rest just above her knee. She could wear her white cardigan. Maybe put a braid in her hair.

It was perfect.

Smiling enthusiastically she winked at Lily. "Perfect Evans. Now Mary, if you could kindly do your part and fix my hair? I look like Hagrid."

Mary stuck out her tongue cheekily. "I think you should leave it that way. It's dishevelled and sexy. Just out of bed hair. Just out of _someone else's_ bed hair."

"You will say absolutely anything, won't you? Now hop to."

Mary struggled upright, pulling herself up labouredly with a lot of assistance from the bed frame behind her. Her platinum hair, still tied precariously in a messy bun on top of her hair was threatening to spill any second. Finally vertical, she shuffled awkwardly over to Marlene, careful not to brush her freshly varnished toes off anything.

"I am just saying. Tobin likes my hair a bit messy. It's very… devil may care."

Lily scoffed, as she flopped down on to the bed, lying outstretched with her feet dangling over it's edge. "Is that why you just spent three hours painstakingly painting your nails? Because Tobin likes _the devil may care_ look?"

Mary shot her a withering look as she reached for her wand and began trowelling the Sleekeazy's Hair Potion onto Marlene's head, shaking it's purple container violently until the last dregs slipped onto her hair. Twirling her wand in practised motions, she addressed Lily; never lifting her gaze from her work. There was a reason Mary MacDonald had never gone without a boyfriend. She was a ditz and a girlie girl and could be very superficial, but there was no taking away from her skills. She could have turned Macnair into a veela overnight if she wanted.

She obviously didn't though. He was disgusting and a total loony.

"I painted them because _I_ like how they look? What do I care what Tobin thinks of my _toes_?"

Lily nodded. A fair point. She didn't think she'd ever had a conversation with any boy that ended in "It was _all _because of her toes. So neat and freshly painted." Not that she had many conversations with boys. Not proper ones anyways. Not since her and Sev had… drifted.

"Marlene, fidget one more fucking time and I will give you a uni-brow."

Marlene glanced dubiously up at her friend from her uncomfortable perch on the stool. "Can you do that?"

"Try me."


	7. Daddy Issues

"Padfoot- _it's illegal_! And not like "oh haha, you mischievous little youths" illegal, but more like "here's your cell in Azkaban, enjoy the next five years" _illegal_. I like McKinnon, but I don't want to _do time_ for her. Especially when the worst that could happen on this date is that she goes to Madame Pudifoots with him and he gets a peck on the cheek?"

Sirius rolled his eyes, exasperated at his friends' refusal to commit to any of his ideas. It was one little tinsie rule they were breaking. He was pretty sure you couldn't be sent to Azkaban for it and he would definitely have done it for-

"Black. A word please."

Sirius blinked, turning slowly to look at Henry McKinnon in, what was for sure the first time, _honest_ confusion. The rest of the Marauders shared a quick glance, checking if anyone knew what Sirius had done now. Equally baffled faces answered their respective questions. Sirius stood up, slipping off the wall he'd been resting on and nodding at Henry.

"McKinnon."

Henry took a step forward, looking furious. "Apparently my sister is going on a date today and Eddie says he saw _you_ walking her back to the castle earlier in the week. I really, _really_ hope we don't have to re-visit why you're supposed to stay the fuck away from her."

Sirius clenched his jaw. "That's not necessary. Marlene is a big girl. She can make her own decisions."

Henry scowled, his brown eyes turning murderous. Sirius couldn't really say he blamed him. If anyone had treated Marlene as he had three months ago, Sirius would have punched them himself. But Henry had no clue of the full story, or how much he cared for Marlene; and he'd be damned if he was going to be blamed for Marlene dating someone that wasn't even him.

"Black. It isn't funny and it isn't a game. You have _no idea_ what she is going through and if you mess her around again, I swear, I will bury you."

"Henry you're wasting your time. I'm not even-"

"Let me make myself clear. I _forbid i_t."

Sirius scoffed, laughing before even thinking. "What? You can't forbid anything. You're not her _father_, you're-"

He quietened quickly as he realised his mistake. Henry's face blanked and turned white at the mention of his dad, and Sirius stared at the ground, wishing he'd said something else or thought before he'd spoken. Wishing it would swallow him whole. He'd just made fun of the boy for acting like his _dead father_. Merlin, he was such a dick.

"I didn't mean-"

Henry looked up at him slowly, dislike etched across his face. "No, you're right. I'm not her father. Her dad is _dead_ Sirius. _Our _dad is dead. Which means that she is pretty much all I have and I'm it for her too. I get that you aren't all that familiar with familial loyalties, but I mean it when I say I _won't_ watch you dick her around."

Sirius froze at the implication as all of the Marauders steeled themselves.

"What the fuck did you just say?"

Sirius's tenuous home situation was pretty much public knowledge. But it was also pretty well known that you did not bring it up. Not if you valued your facial bone structure. And Henry would know better than most how bad it actually was. Sirius doubted if Marlene had ever properly explained the story of that night to her brother. He would have hoped not.

Henry smirked. "How's your brother, Black? Upholding the family name nicely? Your parents must be so proud. Not that you'd know, of course. Now there's a set of _real_ Daddy issues-"

Sirius swung for him before he could even finish his sentence; seeing red and not caring about the implications. Henry took the first hit to the face but recovered quickly, throwing himself into the fight with as much aggression as Sirius, if somewhat lacking in his reckless abandonment. Both strong boys and Quidditch players no less; they were pretty evenly matched. Henry was obviously older, but Sirius was tall; and as Mary had said, was no stranger to a brawl. It took all of the Marauder's best efforts to separate them.

And even then, they kept escaping.


	8. Definitely the Latter

"No you don't. You are making that up." Bertram smiled over at her, picking up more cake on his fork and munching contentedly.

Marlene grinned, shrugging as she glanced quickly around Madame Pudifoots. This was going well. Conversation flowed easily with Bertram. He listened to what she said. He seemed interested and capable of responding intelligently. And he had picked the best cake on the menu _by far_.

"No, it's true. I was actually champion in fourth year. It has a bad rep for being a loony bin, but it is actually crazy fun. And you meet the nicest people-"

"At Gobstones club? Isn't it run by Xenophillius Lovegood?" He shot her a dubious look, taking another concerned bite of the cake. Marlene narrowed her eyes in exasperation.

"No- it is _not_ run by him! It's run by a _committee_. Did _he_ tell you that? God, you know, I am so sick of him thinking that he owns the place-"

"Marlene!" Lily burst into their conversation, swinging the door of the tea shop open and leaving it bang shut in her wake. Across the small, crowded room Mary broke away from Tobin for air, glancing over in concern.

"Lily-? Lily, what is it?" Marlene's surprise quickly turned to worry at the expression on her best friend's face. Bertram glanced between them in concern, his kind eyes narrowed in confusion. Lily leaned on the table, gasping for breath.

"I was at the castle- Dorcas said that your brother- he's in the hospital wing- they don't know what-"

Marlene stood slowly, her heart thrumming in her chest. Lily's words weren't making sense. Henry had been attacked? But… but they were at Hogwarts. She had thought- if there was anywhere they were safe-? It was broad daylight for Merlin's sake. It didn't make sense. How could they get at him here? Why would they even, after all this time? Her blood ran cold. If something had happened him- if it was serious-

She couldn't handle it. She wouldn't. She literally would not make it.

"Anna-" She managed to get the word out, her lips moving far too slow for her flying thoughts.

Lily stared back at her, still panting. "Fine, Marlene. She's fine I'm sure of it. They both are. We don't know that-"

"Let's go." She grabbed her things quickly, shoving them in her bag before remembering herself and turning fleeting apologetic eyes on Aubrey.

He raised his eyebrows back at her. "_Are you_ _kidding_? Go, I'll get this and follow you up. Marlene?"

She turned back to him.

"I'm sure he's okay."

* * *

"_Henry_!"

She flew through the door, screeching down the wards and bursting into tears in relief as he looked up at her in confusion. Madame Pomfrey trotted briskly out of her office to shoo the noisy newcomer away, before pausing in recognition and tactfully waving Lily off to wait outside. Her brother pulled himself upright in the bed, running his hand through her hair in bewilderment as she sobbed into his shoulder.

"Dorcas said you were-hic- attacked and I- hic- thought it was the Death Eaters and-"

Henry sighed, pulling her closer with a sad chuckle. "You thought they managed to get me in the middle of the Great Hall? Relax Marls, it was just a fight."

Relieved though she was, she could not stop crying. She knew how ridiculous she looked now, and burned crimson to think of what she would next say to Bertram. He must think she was the most unstable person on the planet, storming out of Madame Pudifoots like that just because her brother had a fight with someone.

Madame Pomfrey coughed subtly. "Five minutes Ms McKinnon. Your brother has bones to heal."

She nodded tearfully in response, smiling in embarrassment at Henry and wiping away the fresh onslaught of tears.

"Sorry. I got mascara on your top." She noted glumly.

He laughed. "Don't sweat it Marls. It was worth it to see the high-end hysterics. Even mom would have been proud of that hissy-fit."

She shoved him playfully, looking aghast when he winced at the jostling motion.

"Shit sorry! I forgot."

"Evidently." He grumbled.

Lowering herself much more carefully onto the bed beside him, she scrunched up her nose curiously. "Well go on then. Who was it?"

He looked at her plaintively. "Who do you think?"

She gasped. "Sirius? But… why?"

He shrugged. "I don't want to talk about it."

She buried her head in her hands, groaning in exasperation. "Please, tell me it had nothing to do with me. Henry I swear if you have embarrassed me like this then-"

"Calm down would you? It may have started out being about you- but I swear I had no intention to fight him."

Marlene raised her eyes to the heavens, begging for the patience to deal with her idiot brother. Why did he insist on acting like she couldn't handle herself? There were times when it was cute and she loved him for it. There were other times when she wanted to locate the nearest beater bat and rearrange his face for it. He seemed incapable of deciphering which was which.

This time was definitely the latter.

Him freaking out about Sirius when there was _nothing_ going on, only made it look like she had said something to him. That she had pretended there was still something between them, or that she was still bitter about the break-up and complaining to her brother like the dried up old maid she was.

"So what changed your mind?" She asked tiredly, rubbing at her temples resignedly.

He looked down. "He told me I wasn't your father."

She sat still, not meeting his gaze. She knew why that would hit deep. Henry had tried his best ever since their parents passed to be "the man of the house". Neither she nor Anna had asked for him to step up, but he seemed to feel it was his responsibility, despite Anna being the oldest. Especially with Marlene, he had become much more of a parental figure, and although it could be annoying, she was grateful to him for it. She had been a mess those first few months and without Henry taking charge of the funeral arrangements and liaising with the school and extended relations, she wasn't sure how they would have fared.

"Oh."

He nodded, silent as well. They didn't really need to explain it further. Sirius's comment did more than hurt Henry by undermining everything he had worked hard at since their parents were murdered. It reminded him of _why_ he had had to work hard to become Marlene's brother _and_ parent.

Because their parents were dead and gone, and never coming back.


End file.
